Ecstasy Days, Moonbeam Nights

I was ten minutes late getting to the coffee shop on Venice to meet Brandon.  Lucky for me, he's consistently fifteen minutes late every time we link up.

BRANDON:  Sorry, Gia.  I lost track of time at the gym and then traffic was crazy on the way here and-

ME:  Brandon, relax. It's ok.  I got you a Cafe Latte non-fat w/ Splenda.

BRANDON:  You know me well.

ME:  Yes I do.

BRANDON:  So how's the new job?

ME:  It's fantastic!  I'm flying to New York in 2 days to do a fitness segment on Good Morning America.

BRANDON:  G! That's fantastic.  Wow!  A few months ago, I thought I was going to have to commit you and now-you're a star.

ME:  I wasn't THAT bad.

BRANDON:  I'm really proud of you.

ME:  How are things with you?  

BRANDON:  Couldn't be better.  My contract with "Generations of Bold Children" got picked up for a year.  I'm officially a soap opera star.

ME:  Suddenly, the world all makes sense.

BRANDON:  Not exactly my dream acting gig, but it's a hell of a lot better than slinging drinks at Birds.

ME:   Plus you get to make out with hot actresses all day long.

BRANDON:  Bonus.

ME:  What's your girlfriend think about all this?

BRANDON:  My lady?  She's cool.  Now I can actually afford a ticket to New York to see her more than once a year.

ME:  I don't know how you two lovebirds do it.  Long distance for 2 years?!  

BRANDON:  It's definitely not easy.

ME:  Why don't you just marry her and BE together.

BRANDON:  She's got her job in New York with the consulting firm making SICK money. There's no way I could ask her to give that up.

ME:  And I don't really picture you singing and skipping across a Broadway stage.

BRANDON: Uh, no.

ME:  So do you notice anything different about me?

BRANDON:  Your hair?

ME:  No.

BRANDON:  Hmmm...there's a little sparkle in your eye.  You got laid!

ME:  Bingo!

BRANDON:  Who's the lucky guy?

ME:  Well, I don't want to say much because I don't want to jinx it.  But we've been seeing each other for about 6 weeks now and it's pretty intense.

BRANDON:  Holy shit.  Giovanna has broken her celibacy vow.

ME:  It wasn't a VOW per se.  I was just waiting for the right guy and the right moment.

BRANDON:  Well good luck.  So when are you going to see him again?

ME:  Tonight.

A few hours later, I was waiting anxiously at my apartment for Tyson to show up with the goods.  As I checked my cell phone for the tenth time, I heard a knock at the door.

TYSON:  You look HOT!

ME:  Thanks.  Come on in.

Tyson plopped down on the couch and picked up the remote.  I sat down next to him excitedly.

ME:  So???

TYSON: I got it.  Don't you trust me?

ME:  That is yet to be determined.  Let's see it!

He pulled a small baggie out of his pocket and dangled it in front of me.

TYSON:  My boy, Mike told me this is the best stuff. Pure MDMA.

ME:  So what's the plan?

TYSON:  I'm thinking we drop it here, wait about 30 minutes until the sun is about to set, then head down to the beach.

ME:  Great idea.  

About 45 minutes later, sitting with Tyson on the balcony, I started to recognize the familiar signs.  My hands began to sweat.  The color of the palm trees suddenly seemed to glow a brilliant green, and they waved in slow motion as if saying "Hello, Giovanna. Look how beautiful we are."

I took a deep, slow breath and felt my heart pumping rapidly inside my chest.  Then a wave of emotion passed over me.  Suddenly, their was a moist feeling between my legs.  I looked at Tyson.

TYSON:  You feeling it?

ME:  Yup.

TYSON:  You ok?

ME:  I feel amazing.

TYSON:  Good.  Let's head to the beach.

As we drove along Venice Blvd, I leaned my head against the car window and let my hand dance in the wind rushing by.  I could hear everything so clearly-little children laughing, birds chirping, and I swear I could even hear the flowers blooming.  They all combined to create an orchestra of sounds that tickled my ears.  

We parked the car in the lot and I immediately dashed towards the water.  Putting my feet into the sand felt like a mini-orgasm.  I bent down to touch it and let it run through my finger tips.

ME:  Do you FEEL that? 

Tyson walked up behind me smiling and tousled my hair.

TYSON:  Feels good, huh?

He took my hand and we walked down to the water's edge.  At some point, we must have kicked off our shoes because when I looked down, both of our feet were bare and the cold, salty water was creating a pooling around our toes.  Tyson suddenly scooped me up and chased the tide as it headed back out towards the skyline.  I screamed with delight and begged him not to throw me into the water.   

A few moments later, we were laying on our backs in the dry sand staring up at the sky.  It was streaked with lines of blue, purple, orange, and red.

ME:  Do you think God considers himself a painter?

TYSON:  I don't know if there is a God.

I rolled over onto my side and leaned on his chest.

ME:  You don't know if there's a God?!  How can you look at that and not feel the presence of God?

TYSON:  How do you know God's a guy?  If there is a God, I think she's a woman.  That's the only way to explain natural disasters.  God's on her period and feeling moody for no apparent reason.

ME:  Oh PLEASE!

TYSON:  It's the only explanation for why everything is lunar and cyclical. 

ME:  Do you want to have kids?

TYSON:  How'd we end up here?

ME:  I don't know. It just popped into my head.

TYSON:  I don't know if I'd make a good dad.  I'm really selfish.

ME:  Isn't it natural to want to leave a piece of yourself here?  So when you're gone, there's a part of you that will live on.

TYSON:  This world is really messed up.  I'm not sure I'd want to bring a kid into all of this.

ME:  Well I do.  I think I'd make a great mom.

TYSON:  I was talking to my roommate, Terri about kids and she said if everyone who wanted to have a child adopted one first, there would be no more orphanages or foster kids.

ME:  That's very noble of her.

TYSON:  Most animals just come together to mate, then they move on.

ME:  Are you comparing humans to all the other beasts of nature?

TYSON:  I mean, if you think about it, it makes sense.  Man and woman stay together long enough to create their progeny, then once the child has survived the first few years of life, they go their own separate ways.

ME:  What about love?

TYSON:  What about it?

ME:  Don't you believe that two human beings can connect so deeply that they want to be together forever?

TYSON:  Combined, my parents have been married a total of six times.  My dad has 7 kids by 5 different women.

ME:  He was a rolling stone.

TYSON:  Speaking of rolling, this E has me wanting to move.

I looked back towards the line of bars and clubs on Washington.

ME:  I hear some music coming from that way...

TYSON:  Let's go! 

Second Chances.....(continued)

I just got off of the phone with Rodrigo. After ten minutes of breathing into a paper bag, I have regained my composure enough to sit down and decide if I'm going to see him.

It turns out he's going through a divorce with Jana. They've been separated now for a few months. He's pretty emotional about the whole thing. Not like, crying on the phone emotional. But definitely still in the processing stage. He said he's been spending alot of time alone thinking about what went wrong. They grew apart and want completely different things out of life. The marriage finally ended after 2 years of arguing. They don't have any children together. The two kids in the photo with him are his nephews.

Before we hung up, he invited me to come down to San Diego for his birthday this weekend. A few of his closest friends are flying in to cheer him up. They'll be hanging out at a bar in PB, shooting some pool and having drinks.....

I'm not sure if I should go. Of course, I'd love to see him, but the whole divorce thing kind of makes me feel weird. We'll see.......

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. My ex is Getting Married. What's a Girl to Do?

As if this week couldn't get anymore depressing. I was doing my usual Facebook surfing this morning when I got an IM from an old friend, Nora. Haven't actually seen her in about 2 years. But thanks to the wonders of Facebook, we've kept in touch. So, my dear friend Nora messaged me...

NORA: How r u?

ME: Great! How are you? How are Cody and the kids?

NORA: Everyone's great. Have you heard about your ex?

ME: Kyle? No. Why?

Nora: Kyle's engaged.

Just to put this all in perspective, Kyle was the love of my life. I called him The Italian. He's built like a Greek God. Tanned skin. Athletic build. And a big mouth. Less Jersey Shore and more Miami Beach mobster. A gold chain, pinky ring, unbuttoned shirt and chest hair always completed his look.

We met my first day at the University of Miami. I was an innocent little Freshman. He was a mature junior and also my R.A. He invited me to his fraternity formal two weeks into the school year. I lost my virginity to him one month later. We dated for 6 years after that. He was my first REAL boyfriend, and I thought we'd eventually get married. He moved to San Diego after he graduated to attend medical school. I'd visit him on every break. And when I graduated, I left Miami to join him in sunny SoCal. After 1 year of living together in San Diego, the relationship came to an end. I was completely devastated. I felt like my world was turned upside down. I still remember the day we walked into our apartment after a trip to the grocery store. The Italian put down his bag of Tide and toilet paper and said to me, "I don't want to do this anymore. I love you but I'm not in love with you. I want to see what else is out there." My heart dropped to the floor.

Two months later, I moved out of our apartment. The Italian and I stayed in touch after our split. We even hooked up a few times over the years, as longtime exes often do. We attempted a brief reconciliation a year after our break up. I was hesitant. Scared I'd get hurt again. But my love for him outweighed my fears. He invited me to his office Christmas party. Did I mention The Italian was a surgeon by now? Yup. A doctor of orthopedic surgery. Anyway, we both got dressed up. I wore a body hugging little black Dolce and Gabbana dress with a sexy red cape shawl thrown over my shoulders. He had on a black suit that made him look like The Italian James Bond. Okay. Maybe less James Bond and more Tony Montana. We spent that romantic night on a rented yacht off the coast of Catalina dancing beside his colleagues and their wives. He took me out on a few more dates. Then it all came to a screeching halt.

At the time, I was teaching a creative writing summer camp. Making great money to school some rich kids on how to write a screenplay. The Italian called me on my cell phone in the middle of my class. I stepped outside and was shocked by what he told me. He said that he'd been seeing another woman. A school teacher who lived in Orange County. One of the school teacher's friends had seen The Italian and I out on a date a few nights before, and now his "other woman" wanted to talk to me. "She's freaking out on me and I was wondering if you could just tell her you called me and wanted to have dinner to get some closure?" The Italian said. "You want me to LIE?!?" I hung up the phone and stopped talking to him that day.

About three years after that, The Italian called me out of the blue and asked if I wanted to accompany him on a trip to Florence-a place we had always talked about going together. He said he missed me and compared every woman he dated to me, and none of them stacked up. Duh! He also said he was ready to be a husband and father. I told him that I wasn't ready for any of that. And besides, I was in a relationship with someone else. Mark. We had just moved in together, and although our relationship was already going south, I was committed to making things work with Mark. So, as tempting as a free trip to Italy was, I declined.

A few month's later, me and Mark's relationship was finally over. Three years together and it was kaput. We were still shacked up because my new apartment wouldn't be ready until the following weekend. So I decided to take a drive down to San Diego to escape and do some writing. I contacted The Italian, cause, Hey-why not. He was so excited to hear from me and immediately invited me out to dinner. I accepted, but told him that I'd be staying at a friends place that evening, so I couldn't be out too late. It was a lie to save myself and him from the temptation of a torrid night between the sheets. Cause we both knew if there was one thing that was always good between us, it was the sex. We never had a problem in that area.

So I dropped the top on my red VW Cabriolet and headed down the coast to San Diego. On the way, I decided to call my best girlfriend who lived about an hour outside of SD. Raquel lived in Dana Point with her fiance, Tim who also happend to be best friends with The Italian. She answered the phone on the first ring.

Raquel: So what are YOU up to this weekend?

ME: Obviously you've heard.

Raquel: Of COURSE I heard. Kyle called Tim all excited about your dinner tonight. What are you thinking?

ME: I'm thinking that I'm lonely. And I miss him. And I just want to see him and find out if there's anything still there.

Raquel: Well Kyle clearly thinks there's something there. He already booked a hotel room for the two of you. At the Hotel Solamar.

ME: What?! You're kidding me.

Raquel: Nope. That's what he told Tim. He wants to seduce you tonight. Be careful.

Well there was no seduction that night. Just a great meal and a lot of wine. Then I disentangled myself from The Italian and went back to my own hotel room. At the Marriott. Definitely no Hotel Solamar. Although I was broken up with Mark, I was still technically living with him. It just didn't seem right to get physically involved with someone else, even The Italian. And besides, I was still a little burnt from him asking me to lie to his school teacher girlfriend.

We talked on the phone a few times after that. Debated meeting up or a coffee, just to catch up. But we never followed through. And now, he's getting married. And it's not to me.

Somehow, I find some solace in the thought that he surely bought her engagement ring from Zale's. I hope to God he also bought himself a new gold chain.